My Big Picture

When I asked, "Refine me!"

This is not quite what I had in mind.

I forgot there is a price

On this road to purified.

I call out for Your mercy;

Prepare me for Your will.

What I really want is simple-

To keep my own gods still.

Your love is raging fury

On the death to which I cling.

You'd rather break my body

Than lose me to it's sting.

So, I look to my example

The King without a crown;

Through His lack of pride

My life in You is found.

Teach me to die well,

To all my hopes and dreams.

And remind me of the true peace

That only You can bring.

I've been told that real poets don't rhyme. I'm not a real poet.

I'm on a Horse

So much funny... so little time....

Lent

Holy fire

Burn away

my desires

or anything

That is not of You

and is of me

I want more of You

and less of me

empty me...empty me

and fill, won't you fill me

with You

The One that Got Away

Tonight, I had to leave Brandtson in the extra bedroom alone. Without a bed or any cushion on the hardwood floor. Bad mama? There seems to be no solution for his 'axanities,' they get worse and worse. Crates are pretty much destroyed.... I come home to them unwelded, with Brandtson out of them, the house torn up, and blood spatter all over the walls and floors near the crate. It's not a good situation. So, the extra room was to be his new 'safe' area when I'm gone. Nothing to chew on and a bed. Turns out being destructive is more important than comfort... Two beds, two days. I was expecting to come home tonight (I was later than I anticipated) to the door frame being clawed into bits.

HE WAS A GOOD BOY!!!!

Mazzy had been allowed to stay out of the room on her own, as she is generally trustworthy. Apparently, reveling in her freedom, she got into their food ($60 for 30lb!!!) and ate herself retarded.... bc I walked in the door to a poo-tastic scent. And she was luxuriously sprawled on the couch, stretching when I came in, like "Oh, glad you're home... I got you something..."

Stupid is as Stupid Does.

And more than anything, coming home to that scenario, looking at my facebook picture, reading THIS tribute to a faithful companion, I miss my best girl. I wish I had more time with her and I hope that her goodness and 'easiness' didn't push her to the background too often. I hope she knew I loved her. And I hope that C.S. Lewis is right.... I hope I get to see her again. I miss you Buff.

The Word is Alive

"The Bible was inscribed over a period of 2000 years, in times of war and in days of peace, by kings, physicians, tax-collectors, farmers, fishermen, singers and shepherds. The marvel is that a library so perfectly cohesive could have been produced by such a diverse crowd over a period of time which staggers the imagination. Jesus is its great subject; our good, its design; and the glory of God is its end."
~Tony Nolan

Bible Mad Libs

I'm kinda long winded...and I also like really understanding the context of what I'm reading/studying/learning about/interacting with. To me, that's really important... I like making up mini-stories for the Books on Tape narrators, because I don't like the idea of this bodiless voice telling me a story. I wiki everything (yes, wiki is a verb)!

It should come as no surprise that the majority of my 'contribution' to my online Bible study is a daily list of bullet points of things I learned or thought were interesting. I like structure. Sue me. :)

So, I was talking to another member of this study online and we were comparing and contrasting our methods of interacting with God's word. I was explaining that because of this slight neurosis with context and thoroughness, I have to block off a certain amount of time daily to accomplish my reading and posting. If I don't have the time to do it 'properly,' it doesn't get done until I do- which sometimes means I have to make up days and then it's this GIANT chunk of time I am devoting. I mean, don't get me wrong- I love Jesus, but 3 hours in the book of Genesis can be a bit overwhelming.

She was telling me that she just reads and lets whatever hits her... just hit her. And then, according to her, my diatribes 'fill in the blank.' Like Bible Mad Libs. And I was just thinking about what she had said and our differences in approaching The Lord of the Universe and His EPIC conversation with us. Is there a point of study and 'decoding' that you can miss the Spirit of God?

I think that God has blessed me with the proximity of His grace and Spirit as I've started this project, but I think it's important for me to remember... this is not just a great work of literature. It is the Living Word of the Lord of the Universe. May I approach this daily time in a way that desires the SPIRIT of God to fall upon me.

Dostoevsky on Suffering

"I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidean mind of man, that in the world's finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, for the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, for all the blood that they've shed; that it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify all that has happened."

— Fyodor Dostoevsky (The Brothers Karamazov)

Stolen from Tim Keller's sermon, Suffering: If God is good, why is there so much evil in the world?

DL it here: http://sermons.redeemer.com/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_ID=29