I did!
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
The genius....
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
to get you through the hard times....
some of my hilarity recently:
speaking of a TALL kickballer on another team in our league: i feel like sex with him would be like twister... with limbs just flying everywhere
to my roommate today on gchat:
i'm soo broke
i fed the dogs brown rice, eggs, and cottage cheese for breakfast
they thought they were getting a treat
little did they know, their mom is a broke ass ho
to my friend BG who just had half his palate burned off: and if you EVER ignore my text message again, i will shoot you in the face.... (his visiting sister looks properly terrified)
nate, regarding drama on my kickball team: what are y'all, in third grade.... wow, this really IS kickball
me, at kickball: hey ray-ray, you know how you wore your lucky boxers? i have on my lucky panties! (show the front of my blue and pink superwoman pantaloons)/ kim: wow! i think every guy on this field just got hard....
at kickball (again), Jake commenting sarcastically on how he wasn't raised by filthy rich people who could afford him the opportunity to play kickball in diamond earrings, ashleigh n: well, were you raised by a pack of assholes?!
to andy: oh fake lover, i would love to fake hate you....
Operation Lizard Lick
Oh HAI!!!!!!
enjoy the rest of your summers!
speaking of a TALL kickballer on another team in our league: i feel like sex with him would be like twister... with limbs just flying everywhere
to my roommate today on gchat:
i'm soo broke
i fed the dogs brown rice, eggs, and cottage cheese for breakfast
they thought they were getting a treat
little did they know, their mom is a broke ass ho
to my friend BG who just had half his palate burned off: and if you EVER ignore my text message again, i will shoot you in the face.... (his visiting sister looks properly terrified)
nate, regarding drama on my kickball team: what are y'all, in third grade.... wow, this really IS kickball
me, at kickball: hey ray-ray, you know how you wore your lucky boxers? i have on my lucky panties! (show the front of my blue and pink superwoman pantaloons)
at kickball (again), Jake commenting sarcastically on how he wasn't raised by filthy rich people who could afford him the opportunity to play kickball in diamond earrings, ashleigh n: well, were you raised by a pack of assholes?!
to andy: oh fake lover, i would love to fake hate you....
Operation Lizard Lick
Oh HAI!!!!!!
enjoy the rest of your summers!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
wow.... just... wow
So, I got a new job Friday. I was very excited about it... or as excited as one can be when the last three weeks have deepened my melanin production to extremes not seen since I got 3 months of summer vacation every year. I said goodbye to the pool and prepared to reacquaint myself with Gchat and other perks of the 9-5 lifestyle. It was a bittersweet moment as I roused myself from slumber at 7:45 am and blearily prepared my lunch. Nervous anticipation prickled... I may have even sweat a little on the drive over...
Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, could have prepared me for the workplace that I entered. My desk is covered in files, mail, trash, messages dating back to godknowswhen. There are bags and bags of trash in the room next to the front that apparently no one has taken out. The office itself is dirty and unclean. I was here 5 minutes and my boss left! No training, no direction other than just open and organize the mail.... so, I have been doing nothing for about 3 hours now, since that took next to no time to complete. The only other 2 people in the office are just as lost as I, since one started yesterday and one began just 6 months ago.
So, I begin to open the mail and there are close to 25 collection notices! Every other phone call is a collection agency. I am now really worried that I am working for a company that is on the verge of bankruptcy. When I interviewed, I was told that there were some financial concerns, but that it was the result of a previous employee not collecting past due bills from clients. I am seriously questioning that within one day of working here.... I spoke to the employee that has been here for 6 months and he recommended that I speak with the owner, indicating that my concerns may have validity.
Sending out more resumes.... good grief...
Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, could have prepared me for the workplace that I entered. My desk is covered in files, mail, trash, messages dating back to godknowswhen. There are bags and bags of trash in the room next to the front that apparently no one has taken out. The office itself is dirty and unclean. I was here 5 minutes and my boss left! No training, no direction other than just open and organize the mail.... so, I have been doing nothing for about 3 hours now, since that took next to no time to complete. The only other 2 people in the office are just as lost as I, since one started yesterday and one began just 6 months ago.
So, I begin to open the mail and there are close to 25 collection notices! Every other phone call is a collection agency. I am now really worried that I am working for a company that is on the verge of bankruptcy. When I interviewed, I was told that there were some financial concerns, but that it was the result of a previous employee not collecting past due bills from clients. I am seriously questioning that within one day of working here.... I spoke to the employee that has been here for 6 months and he recommended that I speak with the owner, indicating that my concerns may have validity.
Sending out more resumes.... good grief...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
We're high above but on the floor.....
Broken. My heart, my world. In a time when I have more people than I can ever remember surrounding me, things to do at all times, stable living, no school stress... and I am more alone than I can remember being in a long time.
I'm currently without a job... at least a 9-5er. I just picked up a few shifts at the 'Star. It was my first job... I began there and I may die there :) I was honest with them about my availability and the fact that once I start a 'real' job again, I will keep 1-2 shifts a week, but not pledge my allegiance to the corporation. In 'real job' news, I was offered a position at an executive staffing firm that seems very promising. I also am interviewing for another position at an attorney's office tomorrow morning, where the salary is about what I was making before, plus benefits. With a few serving shifts a week, I should be able to get on my feet and accomplish my goal of paying off my car this year!
Nate and I are over. It's hard to let that dream die as I remember just a year ago at the love we shared. I don't know what happened, just that we changed. I know I did.... and I feel like his deployment changed him much more than I thought it would. I assumed that this being his third tour, he would have faced all the demons and he would be strong. He is different and unhappy. I am no longer what he wants... and I don't want the man that the war returned to me. The breakup is amicable. We both love each other very much, but are headed for different dreams.... the sad part is I know what mine are, but he doesn't. I hope for his sake that those dreams, whatever they may be, are greater than the dreams he once had of our life together.
In light of these developments, I am kicking myself for not going ahead and moving to Boulder 2 months ago. I stayed for a job and a boy- both of which have disappointed me. I will stay here for another year, bc honestly at this point, I don't have the money to leave. I do enjoy my living situation and the friends I've made in the past few months. I can eek out a tolerable life here, but am dreaming of the day when I blow this popsicle stand! Boulder for a year, SLC or Portland for grad school, and then Australia or Vancouver, or wherever the wind blows me!
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I make this transition!
I'm currently without a job... at least a 9-5er. I just picked up a few shifts at the 'Star. It was my first job... I began there and I may die there :) I was honest with them about my availability and the fact that once I start a 'real' job again, I will keep 1-2 shifts a week, but not pledge my allegiance to the corporation. In 'real job' news, I was offered a position at an executive staffing firm that seems very promising. I also am interviewing for another position at an attorney's office tomorrow morning, where the salary is about what I was making before, plus benefits. With a few serving shifts a week, I should be able to get on my feet and accomplish my goal of paying off my car this year!
Nate and I are over. It's hard to let that dream die as I remember just a year ago at the love we shared. I don't know what happened, just that we changed. I know I did.... and I feel like his deployment changed him much more than I thought it would. I assumed that this being his third tour, he would have faced all the demons and he would be strong. He is different and unhappy. I am no longer what he wants... and I don't want the man that the war returned to me. The breakup is amicable. We both love each other very much, but are headed for different dreams.... the sad part is I know what mine are, but he doesn't. I hope for his sake that those dreams, whatever they may be, are greater than the dreams he once had of our life together.
In light of these developments, I am kicking myself for not going ahead and moving to Boulder 2 months ago. I stayed for a job and a boy- both of which have disappointed me. I will stay here for another year, bc honestly at this point, I don't have the money to leave. I do enjoy my living situation and the friends I've made in the past few months. I can eek out a tolerable life here, but am dreaming of the day when I blow this popsicle stand! Boulder for a year, SLC or Portland for grad school, and then Australia or Vancouver, or wherever the wind blows me!
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I make this transition!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Go Nate, Go Nate, Go!!
Congrats to my boy for getting his 90-day card and being eligible for Jumpmaster school.... even if he doesn't really want to go :-/
He should know within a month or so what the future hold for him in the army, as far as whether he is staying at Bragg (and deploying for another year in March) or transferring to another assignment (and adding 2 more years onto his commitment). Both are pretty sucktastic choices...I just hope I can be loving and supportive through this mess.
In happier times... .
He should know within a month or so what the future hold for him in the army, as far as whether he is staying at Bragg (and deploying for another year in March) or transferring to another assignment (and adding 2 more years onto his commitment). Both are pretty sucktastic choices...I just hope I can be loving and supportive through this mess.
In happier times... .
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Lauren's Lovely Luxurious Stories
So, I was going through my *2* memory boxes that I have carted from house to house and added to, but never really gone through them since middle school. It was probably the most epic adventure of the month. There were treasures in that box that are priceless. Lauren's Lovely Luxurious stories featured cryptic tales of modern day Snow White fantasies, plane crashes stranding the "Friends 4-Ever" Club, and the mini-biography of a 9-year-old me expressing my dreams to be a jockey, horse trainer, dog trainer, veternarian- or maybe a combination of all 4! There was also found a grand tale, appropriately named "The Trunk in the Attic," filled with healthy doses of not-so hidden foreshadowing, mayhem, and death.
I FINALLY finished the giant armoire love affair that lasted well over a month from my initial move into my new house. It is now residing in my bedroom, waiting for me to finish the unpacking dervish I have begun. I can't wait to actually have all the clothes put away and decorate! I love the house, love the girls, tolerate our nutty landlord F(anny)P(ack) Jim, and am really throwing myself into enjoying this summer.
The dogs are doing well and I am questioning the necessity of even forking out $800 for the little B-man's surgery. He navigates around quite well without it and never seems to be in pain anymore. The only time it's an issue is when he is really tired, he has more trouble getting around. And, when he is running full speed, his little peg leg flaps around in the breeze, as he sprints on the other three. The kitten brigade is winding down.... after tomorrow, only 3 remain and those are the three that are going to stay in my or Nate's house. They are about 8 weeks old and silly little bits of flufferdoo hopping all over our house, leaving mayhem in their wake.
That's all I feel like writing right now.... so, back to the grind.... ugggh.
I FINALLY finished the giant armoire love affair that lasted well over a month from my initial move into my new house. It is now residing in my bedroom, waiting for me to finish the unpacking dervish I have begun. I can't wait to actually have all the clothes put away and decorate! I love the house, love the girls, tolerate our nutty landlord F(anny)P(ack) Jim, and am really throwing myself into enjoying this summer.
The dogs are doing well and I am questioning the necessity of even forking out $800 for the little B-man's surgery. He navigates around quite well without it and never seems to be in pain anymore. The only time it's an issue is when he is really tired, he has more trouble getting around. And, when he is running full speed, his little peg leg flaps around in the breeze, as he sprints on the other three. The kitten brigade is winding down.... after tomorrow, only 3 remain and those are the three that are going to stay in my or Nate's house. They are about 8 weeks old and silly little bits of flufferdoo hopping all over our house, leaving mayhem in their wake.
That's all I feel like writing right now.... so, back to the grind.... ugggh.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Wallermelon and 'Mater Sammiches
It's SUMMER! I guess the equinox has not officially occurred, but I live in NC, so for all intents and purposes... it's summer. Trips to the Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings, fresh tomato sandwiches, watermelon, music festivals, the beach, aaaaaand.... the infamous summer move. A suppose this is a prerequisite for 20-somethings. The temperature must be over 90 degrees, humidity should hit its year to date high, and there should be at least 2 flights of stairs involved. I'm hitting all the key points this Saturday as I make my final move within NC. I will not move again until I'm heading to South Carolina with Nate or out to explore the wild, wild west with my pet posse!
I'm still trying to convince Daddy Dearest to let me go to Roo. It's Diana's last week in town and she is totally pressuring me to make the sojourn with her. She wants to party... I want to see Sigur Ros. Like, BAD! I have a ticket available for me for $150, since people bought all their tix and then can't go now, one week before the show. Tough break, but lucky me.
I leave you with this lovely blurb from an office memo written by my father regarding a mistake I had made....
The agent who made the mistake in deleting this has been verbally instructed that this is a serious error. Her punishment would normally be gibbeting or defenestration from 8 stories, but since she is my daughter, we have elected the more merciful penalty of a quick decapitation. This should ensure that this error never happens again.
Love the D.A.D.! Enough to get him one of theeeeeese for Father's Day?! I think so.
http://cgi3.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=bill-cosby-charity-auction
I'm still trying to convince Daddy Dearest to let me go to Roo. It's Diana's last week in town and she is totally pressuring me to make the sojourn with her. She wants to party... I want to see Sigur Ros. Like, BAD! I have a ticket available for me for $150, since people bought all their tix and then can't go now, one week before the show. Tough break, but lucky me.
I leave you with this lovely blurb from an office memo written by my father regarding a mistake I had made....
The agent who made the mistake in deleting this has been verbally instructed that this is a serious error. Her punishment would normally be gibbeting or defenestration from 8 stories, but since she is my daughter, we have elected the more merciful penalty of a quick decapitation. This should ensure that this error never happens again.
Love the D.A.D.! Enough to get him one of theeeeeese for Father's Day?! I think so.
http://cgi3.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=bill-cosby-charity-auction
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