Relationships are hard. Not just the romantic kind... all of them are. Friendships have their own set of issues that are unique to platonic interactions, but interactions with those you love romantically are especially heart-wrenching.
I find myself in the difficult position of relearning Nate. Not only getting to know him again, but separating the fantasy created in 15 months apart from the reality of who he was and has become. He pointed this out the other day when I was commenting on his excessive sarcasm. He told me I act like I don't know him at all... like I built up a fantasy Nate in my head while he was away. This was said with a grin and was not intended to be a super serious commentary, but has stayed with me. How much of our current struggle is derived from unrealistic expectations, based on a boyfriend model that I created... or a girlfriend that he invented... while we have been apart?
We are not giving up on our love or this relationship, but it is hard. We fight and make up and fight again. I am riddled with insecurity that I never had before, which creates an annoying clingy-ness that is difficult to deal with. I realize that I'm doing it AS I'm doing it... but I can't stop myself. The hope is that time will heal the divide and we will be able to fall in deep love again. We both have high hopes and a belief that we can weather this if we both stay committed. I guess that's called faith.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
The Best Part of Waking Up.....
was not in fact Folger's in my cup, this am. I bleary-eyed stepped out of my room, heading towards my bathroom, when.... BAM!!!.... barefoot into one of the several piles/pools of diarrhea that the dear Diaper left for my while I was slumbering. I am growing to slowly hate this dog. He is old and crotchety- which means he is mean to Mazzy and little 'Ston. He barks his fool head off everytime someone moves in the house and won't shut up until you scream at him. And, his bowels are all kinds of messed up. He keeps shitting and pissing in my room... bc apparently this is not part of the 'house'-training. When I close the door.... in the hall or in my bathroom across the hall. Grrrr! My room smells like piss and my foot prolly has some exotic Mexican tapeworm burrowing towards my heart!
I am scrambling to make Memorial Day weekend plans, since my Boone plans fell through. I am trying not to act like a petulant 3 year old and stamp my foot, but I'm REALLY irritated. I'm not only having to make last minute plans, but trying to find people to go with me, so I'm not camping in the middle of the woods by myself. It looks like Asheville will be my destination, but I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna set up my tent in the dark to make this happen. Boo hiss to the man for crappin' out on our plans.
On a funny note: while I was typing this blog, I am also trying to reserve the U-Haul that I and my future roommates are going to rent on June 7 to move. So, as I am talking to this lady ab my reservation, she tries to slip in this disclaimer about equipment not being available for the times reserved?! I stop her to clarify this gem and ask "Are you saying that if I call to make a 24 hour reservation, U-Haul cannot guarantee that they will offer me the equipment for that time period?" She pauses (presumably to look in her 'difficult questions' manual) and begins to read something to the effect that U-Haul attempts to satisfy as many customers as possible, so sometimes the equipment will be rented out several times a day. I respond by thanking her for reading that, but that she really hasn't answered my question. I repeat my question, hoping that the pure ridiculousness of it will fall on her ears and perhaps propel her to check with a supervisor for clarification. It does not.
She transfers me to Customer Service, who might be able to answer my question. They cannot.... guess who does that? The reservation people, that's who! When I explain my concern that that department was the reason I had been transferred to begin with, my concerns were immediately relieved as she hopefully suggested "Maybe you'll get another person this time!" Really?! Like maybe one whose 'give a damn' isn't broken?! At this point, I asked to be transferred to a supervisor in the reservation department, since I would have a higher likelihood of having my original question answered. Wonder of wonders..... this did not happen.
I did reserve my U-Haul with the unfortunate soul who I was transferred to... and she was ridiculously pleasant and knowledgable! The End.
I am scrambling to make Memorial Day weekend plans, since my Boone plans fell through. I am trying not to act like a petulant 3 year old and stamp my foot, but I'm REALLY irritated. I'm not only having to make last minute plans, but trying to find people to go with me, so I'm not camping in the middle of the woods by myself. It looks like Asheville will be my destination, but I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna set up my tent in the dark to make this happen. Boo hiss to the man for crappin' out on our plans.
On a funny note: while I was typing this blog, I am also trying to reserve the U-Haul that I and my future roommates are going to rent on June 7 to move. So, as I am talking to this lady ab my reservation, she tries to slip in this disclaimer about equipment not being available for the times reserved?! I stop her to clarify this gem and ask "Are you saying that if I call to make a 24 hour reservation, U-Haul cannot guarantee that they will offer me the equipment for that time period?" She pauses (presumably to look in her 'difficult questions' manual) and begins to read something to the effect that U-Haul attempts to satisfy as many customers as possible, so sometimes the equipment will be rented out several times a day. I respond by thanking her for reading that, but that she really hasn't answered my question. I repeat my question, hoping that the pure ridiculousness of it will fall on her ears and perhaps propel her to check with a supervisor for clarification. It does not.
She transfers me to Customer Service, who might be able to answer my question. They cannot.... guess who does that? The reservation people, that's who! When I explain my concern that that department was the reason I had been transferred to begin with, my concerns were immediately relieved as she hopefully suggested "Maybe you'll get another person this time!" Really?! Like maybe one whose 'give a damn' isn't broken?! At this point, I asked to be transferred to a supervisor in the reservation department, since I would have a higher likelihood of having my original question answered. Wonder of wonders..... this did not happen.
I did reserve my U-Haul with the unfortunate soul who I was transferred to... and she was ridiculously pleasant and knowledgable! The End.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Cherry Poppin' Daddies
Ha! Fooled ya' huh! You thought I might be bringing it back early 90's style? I do love the 90's, and daddies, not necessarily the cherry poppin' kind...
The first blog in the grown up blog world. What to even write about?
Nate is home and I am in heaven with him. I am staying in Dtown for another year, against my better judgement. I pine for the West. I have 3 nutty dogs. My kitties joined a gang and I am trying to woo them back with promises of tuna, mice, and personal protection against doggy mayhem. I am sunburned- it's Nate's fault. I'm getting ready to move in with 3 funnishly girls. I watch lots of bad TV... as we speak, I am actually wasting an hour of my life watching 'One Tree Hill." Don't judge me. I love sundresses and sunglasses. My boobs are getting bigger but I'm trying to lose the weight I've put on my booty. I just bought an '08 Yaris and I like to zip around town in it. My phone is always dead. I love olives, salads, and tomato sandwiches in the summer time. The Hold Steady are coming to Cat's Cradle in August and I couldn't be more thrilled! I love Mario old school and can't play anything 3D.
The first blog in the grown up blog world. What to even write about?
Nate is home and I am in heaven with him. I am staying in Dtown for another year, against my better judgement. I pine for the West. I have 3 nutty dogs. My kitties joined a gang and I am trying to woo them back with promises of tuna, mice, and personal protection against doggy mayhem. I am sunburned- it's Nate's fault. I'm getting ready to move in with 3 funnishly girls. I watch lots of bad TV... as we speak, I am actually wasting an hour of my life watching 'One Tree Hill." Don't judge me. I love sundresses and sunglasses. My boobs are getting bigger but I'm trying to lose the weight I've put on my booty. I just bought an '08 Yaris and I like to zip around town in it. My phone is always dead. I love olives, salads, and tomato sandwiches in the summer time. The Hold Steady are coming to Cat's Cradle in August and I couldn't be more thrilled! I love Mario old school and can't play anything 3D.
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