Relationships are hard. Not just the romantic kind... all of them are. Friendships have their own set of issues that are unique to platonic interactions, but interactions with those you love romantically are especially heart-wrenching.
I find myself in the difficult position of relearning Nate. Not only getting to know him again, but separating the fantasy created in 15 months apart from the reality of who he was and has become. He pointed this out the other day when I was commenting on his excessive sarcasm. He told me I act like I don't know him at all... like I built up a fantasy Nate in my head while he was away. This was said with a grin and was not intended to be a super serious commentary, but has stayed with me. How much of our current struggle is derived from unrealistic expectations, based on a boyfriend model that I created... or a girlfriend that he invented... while we have been apart?
We are not giving up on our love or this relationship, but it is hard. We fight and make up and fight again. I am riddled with insecurity that I never had before, which creates an annoying clingy-ness that is difficult to deal with. I realize that I'm doing it AS I'm doing it... but I can't stop myself. The hope is that time will heal the divide and we will be able to fall in deep love again. We both have high hopes and a belief that we can weather this if we both stay committed. I guess that's called faith.
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