Only when my heart is free can my mouth find words to sing...

I finally feel like my life is tipping back into a manageable state and that thrills me to death. I've tossed off relationships full of baggage and have focused on forming friendships with people who do actually step outside of themselves once in a while to actually care about another human being. Letting go of some of these was easy and painless... others ripped my heart in two and made me wonder how people can change so much that they are unrecognizable to my heart. It is foreign to me how people can reach places where discarding true relationships is easy and effortless. I've always been one to hold onto my good friends- from Atlanta, San Francisco, Auburn, Rota- my true friends know that they can call me at any time and I will drop it all to come if they truly need me. It amazes me that one of the relationships I've invested the most in my life is so fractured that in the middle of my breakup with Nate, losing my job, tension with my family, financial chaos, and an eviction, I didn't hear from this person in over 3 weeks. After a particularly epic fight (and months of not speaking) a few years ago, I rose to the occasion and threw many celebratory shindigs in honor of a special event in this person's life. It is sad to me that in the middle of simply feeling like there is not as much in common anymore, their natural response would be to pull even further away from me instead of making any effort to repair our friendship. I finally got this all out in an email and have more peace regarding the situation. I do know that my world is expanding and theirs has closed in, which makes a big difference. I'm learning to simply accept these choices and be thankful for the memories of a heart that knew mine.